What is life about?
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Happiness, Health, Wealth and wellbeing self help books and personal development articles about improving your Happiness, Health & Wealth, increasing your wisdom on how to be happy, using self help resources like self help site with free self help books on being happy with loving relationships, high self esteem & self confidence using self actualization and self growth resources.
Feel Happy!
EMOTION MANAGEMENT:
You might look at the following strategy and think "Oh No! Not more of this simplistic - quick fix - nonsense". Please don't discard this powerful concept just because it is so SIMPLE. Simple doesn't always mean EASY. You have to apply yourself - consistentlly - with a genuine desire to improve your emotional wellbeing, THEN you will get powerful results.
Go on - Try this straightforward self help exercise – answer the questions and notice how you feel when you think about the answers……
“What am I most enjoying in my life right now?”
(as Tony says, don’t say “nothing!” Instead ask yourself “If I could be enjoying something in my life right now, what would that be?”)
Then ask yourself:
“What about that do I enjoy?”
Then ask yourself:
“How does that make me feel?”
Then next ask yourself:
“What am I most happy about in my life right now?”
Then ask yourself:
“What about that makes me feel happy?”
Notice how your emotions react to the experience of dwelling or thinking about the good and sweet things in your life. If you like the feeling and want more of it, just keep asking yourself the right questions.
Any self help tool, no matter how powerful, only works when you work it.
Also sometimes the “essence” of certain events or tangible things can be more important to how we feel than actually having more of exactly the same thing.
You don’t need to own a horse to ride one. You especially don’t need 6 horses to ride for the same experience that riding one can give you. You don’t have to own a countryside retreat to have a picnic in the countryside. You don’t even have to own a Ferrari to drive one.
There are many ways available to get the essence of what you want, that makes you feel happy. More self help on that later….
When you start each day asking yourself questions that generate a feeling of pleasure, excitement, enthusiasm, just by the act of answering them, your day gets off on the right path.
Try designing self help questions that suit your life or interests, maybe straightforward ones like
What am I excited about in my life now?
What am I grateful about in my life now?
What am I most looking forward to in my life today?
You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to apply this self help strategy, do you? All you need is the DESIRE to improve your day and then make the commitment to actually APPLY it every morning for at least 30 days. It will work.
More self help strategies are outlined in the general categories on the navbar. We have had to break up the sheer volume of self help resources into some general self help categories to simplify the search for resources relevant to your self help needs and to save you time when you download the pages to view.
You will no doubt “fit the bill” for at least 3 categories, so dip into all or as many of the categories as suits you at any given time. You might be a stressed out single person, who is also a parent or prime caregiver, who has a career or enterprise to manage – but today your question is how to be happier in your role as a Parent.
Tomorrow it might be checking out self help strategies as a single person with issues relating to the fact you are “flying solo” in life. And so on….
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Be Flexible:
Rest your frayed nerves and tired body
Before you do anything else about developing further happiness in your life, check on how much restful sleep you are getting. Lack of sleep = leads to = exhaustion = which leads to = depression.
If you feel sad or unhappy, first ask if you have had enough restful sleep. (Don’t you dare laugh at me for even suggesting the very thought of enough sleep). The fact is that you simply can’t expect to be bouncing off the walls with energy, enthusiasm and sheer joy for life if you can barely put one foot in front of the other and don’t dare to sit down in case you fall asleep.
Restful sleep is a non-negotiable self help priority if you truly desire happiness in your life. Recognize that you must re-arrange your life, work, responsibilities, socializing to allow for you to get adequate sleep. No strategy in the world will work for long to make your life happier if you are chronically exhausted. End of story.
The relevant self help categories linked to this page will offer solutions to people in the various stages or roles of life that have so many varied issues and require specific self help strategies for their needs. Get creative, there is a way for you to be rested and happy.
And before you go to sleep ask yourself questions to calm your mind and spirit and appreciate something wonderful about the day you have just had, like:
"What was the most beautiful thing I saw today?"
Or have a picture and emotion that you dwell on before you sleep, that relaxes you enough to stop distracting thoughts from keeping you awake. More self help on this later…
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Relationships:
Friends, Family and Relationships
Laugh and the world laughs with you, weep and you weep alone…..
Sadness can sometimes mean loneliness too. Depression can be so seductive to your mind and body, that you just want to soak in it for a while on your own, not letting anyone else into your life, refusing their efforts to help you. But it is essential that you make an effort to communicate to your loved ones, or you may isolate yourself from all help and unconditional support, just when you most need it.
If you feel that you are truly totally alone in the world, with no one who could possibly relate to your issues, or give unbiased support, then call on a professional. Or join a discussion group and share your experiences and learn about other people's self help strategies in dealing with their problems. If the cost is an issue, check out your local council or municipality for “community health services” and you should be able to get in contact with professionals at no cost to you. Just do it – find a way.
The very act of simply talking it through with someone, even a total stranger, somethimes helps us to come up with the answers we needed on how to cope and what to do next. You may even find that someone else can give you the moral support you need to be able to take the steps you secretly know you need to take but just don’t feel confident in your own courage or judgment right now.
Most importantly, know that you are loved. Someone, somewhere, is thinking about you right now with love in their heart. You are only alone for as long as you choose to be. Once again, look to the relevant self help navbar category for more specific strategies for your particular needs. But above all, never isolate yourself for very long. Talk to someone. Let others help you to be strong and find happiness in your life again. Check out the "Get Help" section for professional assistance if you feel you want more help than these self help resources can provide.
Should your relatives or friends be the problem in your life, you can deal with that too. Check out your category pages on the navbar for some self help strategies.
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Self Image:
Self Image and how you feel about everything in your life
“Go on, you deserve it!” How often have you been told that, but not felt it was true for you? Do you more comfortably accept the more unpleasant, unrewarding things that life can sometimes offer you? “What did I expect, this is what I deserve after all”.
What your expectations of life are will be based directly on what you believe about yourself and your self image.
Sorry, but there is no magic tooth fairy to wave her wand and make more than you expect appear in your life. Life will continue to give you what you expect it will and that you feel you deserve, or is appropriate for you. You will stay in that comfort zone for as long as you maintain that set of beliefs.
One definition of insanity is to continue doing the same thing over and over, but expecting a different result each time.
Your self image gives you the broad road map of what you will do, give, create, have and be in your lifetime. Change your beliefs about yourself and you change your expectations. You will soon grow too big for the kinder-garden tables and chairs and start to expect that life will provide grown up size furniture for the new more powerful you.
The better you feel about yourself, the better life will treat you. The more you raise your expectations of what will be in your life, the more that will be offered to you.
The higher you raise your beliefs about your ability, self worth, value to the community, attractiveness to other people, and your power to take action – the better your results will be in life, and you will definitely be happier, because you expect to be happy, of course!
Settle for nothing less than your best. For specific self help strategies on how to work this self image “make-over” click on the toolbar that best identifies that category you want to check out today. Then check out some of the others, to cover all the bases for your new life self image. More Power to you – go for it with a vengeance!
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Appearance does matter when it comes to being happy
“But beauty is only skin deep!” I hear you snort at me. Appearance and grooming may be considered a painfully superficial subject for important issues in life. But it’s true. When you look good, you feel better. When you look great – and have a “good hair” day – you feel much happier than when you look in the mirror and wonder who that wretched creature is staring back at you. It matters.
Even hippies living in the fields, wearing home woven cloth, need to wash their hair, clean their teeth, tidy up facial hair, cut and clean their nails, and wear clean clothes - no excuses. Even if only for the happiness and comfort of the people around them.
Make the time to discover the things that would make you feel good about your appearance. Create a Discovery Journal with cut outs of clothes, hairstyles, shoes, makeup, jewelry or accessories that could make you feel special. Invest in one exotic, expensive tie or scarf that makes you feel “rich and famous” when you wear it, especially if you move in circles that know the designer labels and actually care if you are fashionable or not. (If you don’t care, why are you mixing with those people in the first place?)
Look at pictures and shop around until you find one outfit or suit or even only a jacket that is a timeless classic, comfortable, will last forever, and is your standby for any important occasion, or to mix and match with your normal “work” outfits.
If you’re on a budget and need work outfits, invest in the same colour articles. Theme your clothes for basic classic black, or navy, or grey, or mule/camel. They wear well, and don’t show dirt the instant you put them on. Then if you are a fashion victim, you can add one accessory or shirt in this season’s fashion (even if it is lime green and orange – I remember that year), without having to throw out your entire wardrobe.
Just keep building your wardrobe in the same tones and you will end up with a wardrobe of classic designs, with fashion label items building each year. And keep your clothes forever, because the fashions are recycled in monotonous, predictable ways. If you hated them in the seventies, you have really been loathing the past few years….now where did I put those midriff baring, body hugging blouses from the 1970’s again? Get ready for the big hair and shoulder pads from the ‘80’s ‘cos they’re on their way.
Try out the perfumes or aftershaves at the store counters until you find one that you find personally pleasing. If it’s what you would consider expensive, buy a small bottle and use it sparingly. Please don’t ever use cheap and nasty scents, even if your loved ones gave them to you. You won’t feel happy and neither will the other people around you. Go classic or go scentless. Besides, if you let everyone who cares about you know the brand you want, they will make sure you always get a supply on your birthdays and you will probably never have to buy one yourself again.
Keep looking until you find a deodorant that really works for you. No one can be happy when they feel the sweat and smell the odour of their deodorant failing them.
Work out your weekly schedules so that your personal hygiene is always up to date. Do shower at least once a day so that you can feel fresh and confident….Cut the toenails so that your feet don’t hurt in those shoes….take care of your hands and nails – they speak volumes about you when people meet you. Chipped nail polish is forbidden from now on.
The schedule will ensure that you don’t ever have to rush out the door unprepared, before you are ready to face the world, and you won’t have any more “bad hair” days to make you squirm with embarrassment and discomfort for the whole of the day long.
When going to an important event, don’t wear new clothes or shoes for the first time ever. Try them out, get comfortable in them. If they are not comfortable for any reason – don’t wear them on the special day, or you will be miserable and unhappy.
If it is a job interview, you need to be totally confident and comfortable otherwise your prospective employers will interpret your physical pain as being uncomfortable about the job and the interview. Also please don’t get a dramatically different haircut the day before your special event. It will grow out if it’s a disaster, but knowing that won’t make your special day any happier at the time. Same for makeup, don’t be radical without plenty of practice, the result can be tragic for all parties to see.
Most important of all about your appearance is your smile. Wear it often and proudly. You will naturally appear more cheerful, people will be more pleasant around you, and when you smile your physiology forces you to feel happier, despite yourself. Try it out for yourself if you don’t believe it. Told you so…. Now try the self help tips in the navbar category of your choice.
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Sense of Purpose:
Sense of Purpose = Happiness
Why do you get out of bed in the morning? From a sense of duty or from enthusiasm for what the day ahead holds for you?
Getting up and going to “work” each day without a sense of purpose, a picture of something bigger than yourself, is a lifetime of slavery. “Working to pay the bills” is no reason to live your life!
Remember back to the last time you woke up and didn’t notice feeling sleepy or tired, because you were out of bed and running, because you just couldn’t wait to get started? Go on, keep thinking until you can recall that morning……… Remember the last time you didn’t notice you were still working at 3 am, because you just felt so good, everything just flowed, you were in the zone, your energy and enthusiasm just wouldn’t run out?
Go on, keep thinking, because you have had such a day…..
You felt like Superman, or at least a Superstar. You could do no wrong….everything you needed to get the job done just flowed in to you…You either felt soft, warm and fuzzy, flowing with contentment – or – you were ready to simply burst with enthusiasm.
Let’s work on getting that state of emotion into your life on a daily basis. Sure, not every single solitary day will be like that for the rest of your life, but don’t you simply want more of them than you have been experiencing lately???
Like anything, take it one step at a time, develop your genuine sense of Purpose or life Destiny path - and be happy.
There are exercises on the self help navbar categories that will get you inspired about your life and what you have to contribute to your world and your community. You are here for a very important reason. You have a valuable contribution to make that only unique you can make. You are one of a kind, so unleash yourself onto life and all it has to offer you. Take no prisoners. Build the castles. Slay the dragons.
Work only toward the dreams you have designed and the lifestyle you have crafted for yourself and your loved ones.
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Recreation:
Plan for “time off” – take a break for your sanity and happiness
We all have different roles to play and responsibilities we choose to meet. To feel refreshed and enthusiastic again about them, we sometimes need some time away from even the things we love to do.
There is a way, be creative about finding out how you can retreat from the fray and recharge your batteries.
You simply can’t take care of others until you start to take care of yourself first. This is not an essential item for your happiness, but it sure helps. Go to the relevant self help navbar category and start planning your “time off” for your recovery and happiness.
Remember that life will sometimes hand you a delightful, smiling baby to hold – and just as you start to mellow to the concept, you notice the smell from the fouled nappy.
Most of us would go pale at the thought of dealing with such a horrific thing. Yet a parent wouldn’t miss a beat – or a meal- about cleaning the steaming mess and getting on with enjoying to the fullest the miracle of having a baby in their life.
One goes with the other. Roses have sharp thorns; babies have soiled nappies, so - that pile of steaming horse manure on your front lawn might just mean that someone has just given you a horse.
Your glass is either half full or half empty – it’s up to you to make the most of what life is offering you. Make your life Happy at least.
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On the Job:
Happiness “on the Job”
Do the things you enjoy for a livelihood and you will never need to “work” again. May sound too simplistic, but once again, we can look into the essence of what you enjoy doing and work out how you can make an income doing that.
Suggestions and self help strategies for this are shown in this page’s “Prosperity - home & small business” toolbar pages. Also suggestions for dealing with co-workers and so called “authority figures” in your role. Financial and Prosperity issues are especially covered in the Prosperity self help section pages.
Most importantly, you need to commit to doing whatever it takes to make your “livelihood” and personal enterprise role one that is rewarding, fun, exciting, secure and most importantly increases the level of Happiness in your life, not takes away from it.
Your job or Business is what you make of it – if it doesn’t excite you, don’t do it for a minute longer than you have to. Get creative and you will find a way to achieve everything you want and be happy as well. I promise – I have been doing it for over 20 years in many different kinds of careers and enterprises.
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Personal Development:
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Self help resources are constantly being loaded, so check on us in a few days for Personal Development.
Personal Goal Setting:
Prosperity and happiness - v - Broke and miserable
There are a massive amount of choices and self help strategies in the ways to improve your prosperity. It also depends on what it takes to make you feel “Prosperous”. Maybe you would value free time to do the things you enjoy more than you value hard cash.
The security of your family and the children’s education may be more important than an annual holiday. For others it means that anything less than $5m personal income a year is unacceptable.
The interesting news is that the fundamental principles of Prosperity are relevant to all levels of expectation.
If anyone says “you can’t buy happiness” tell them they don’t know where to shop. At the least, if you are going to stay miserable, you can arrive at your destination in better style.
Seriously, financial problems are the biggest detractor from happiness after illness or poor health.
If your unhappiness comes directly from financial stresses go to the navbar link for the Prosperity self help pages. Deal with it. The answers and strategies are there for you to apply.
There is absolutely no excuse for living in financial misery for the rest of your life. There are self help strategies for everyone, whatever your circumstances.
This will be a good opportunity to reality test your belief that you are not happy because your finances are not supportive of the life you want. Don’t be surprised if you find out you are about as prosperous and happy as you intend to be, because making the changes and the effort to improve your finances may just be more than you want to invest in your time and effort. If that is the case, fine. Just don’t use lack of income as an excuse to justify your “unhappiness”.
Fix it or change your expectations of what it will take to make you happy.
Firstly define for yourself “What would make me feel prosperous?”
Anything from having the house cleaned, car washed, lawns mowed, etc. for you on a regular basis, to having money left in your pocket after your bills are paid, to having a very serious income that looks like telephone numbers, not dollars…. Holiday home. Annual vacation. New car. New home. Own your own home. Pantry always full of food, never fear hunger again. Time to actually play with the kids. Energy to actually want to socialize with friends and family. Ability to donate as much time or money as you want to your dearest charities.
It can be small things that create a sense of prosperity for you. Take care of them first, then plan for the big stuff. If you want it badly enough, there is a way, as long as you are prepared to invest the time and effort.
Once you start feeling prosperous you may want to join our “Millionaire’s Club”. You will be surprised by what the entry criteria is…..
When you are ready to start on the road to authentic abundance and prosperity, go to the Prosperity self help page link and select a category to begin with.
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Your Success Stories
When you get the benefits from the self help strategies on the category pages, send us your success stories.
Or if you have a story to tell of self help strategies you have successfully used in the past that changed your life and increased your happiness, send us a note and we will publish it here, if appropriate.
Happiness and wellbeing self help books and personal development articles about improving your Happiness, Health & Wealth, increasing your wisdom on how to be happy, and using self help resources like self help site with free self help books on being happy with loving relationships, high self esteem & self confidence using self actualization and self growth resources.
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