LETTING GO OF EMOTIONAL TURBULENCE
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Let me ask you, are you more or less effective when you are upset?
Do you find yourself stuck at times in your life by anger, frustration, fear, guilt, and similar emotions?
If so, here is a step-by-step approach adapted in part from the book, Do Less, Achieve More by Chin-Ning Chu.
1. DON'T SUPPRESS.
Letting go of your emotions doesn't mean to avoid feeling them or suppressing them.
Suppressing your emotions can be harmful to your health, resulting in a myriad of physical ailments including heart disease, strokes and ulcers.
Instead of suppressing your emotions, become unattached to them. How?
2. CAUSE YOUR UPSET.
One of the most effective ways I've found to become unattached to an upset is to actually 'cause' it.
Having something happen that results in your automatically being upset is different from recognizing the upset and causing it in a responsible manner.
You may find it's actually quite difficult to stay upset when you're causing it rather than simply being at the effect of it, and it can help you move through it and reach detachment sooner.
3. WRITE IT OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM.
For many people writing about their emotional upsets can be a great way to dissipate the energy.
The best way to write about your emotions is to not think about writing but simply write. Pour it all out on the paper.
Let the words flow directly from your heart to your fingers without detouring through your brain first.
4. WHAT REALLY HAPPENED?
Once you've unattached yourself from the angst of your emotions, you are better able to deal with what really happened.
As Detective Friday used to say in Dragnet, "Just the facts."
What happened is almost always different from what you reacted to.
What caused the reaction was what you made up about what happened. Someone say, "We're cutting your bonus 50%," is different from "My jerk of a boss is stingy and uncaring and let me tell you what he did recently that proves it."
Few people in life deal with what's really happening -- only the most effective ones.
5. GET THAT WE LIVE IN A 'NO ACCIDENT' UNIVERSE.
Since we're designed to make meaning out of everything, why not make up some new meaning about what happened that will empower life?
Notice I said empowers life, not 'empowers you.' Of course, you're part of life so you're included but look beyond yourself.
What meaning could you attribute to the situation that will empower everyone involved? One great place to look is what's the hidden lesson the Universe is trying to teach you.
If you've just gone through a huge upset, chances are that you've been offered the lesson many other times. Isn't it time to learn it so you can move on?
6. CELEBRATE.
That's right, whenever you move through an upset, no matter how large or small, celebrate the expansion and growth you've made.
As Chin-Ning Chu says, "Rejoice and celebrate each time your heart is broken. Only when your heart is broken can the light enter."
ACTION
This week, try out this simple and effective six-step approach on one of your upsets and see if you don't become much more effective at dealing with your life.
The more you practice it, the faster you'll be able to authentically move through the emotional turbulence of life and stay on track to living purposefully.
(Thanks to my friend and client, Eric Miller, for inspiring this Thought Provoker.) The End
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W. Bradford Swift is director of Life On Purpose Institute -- an organization dedicated to people clarifying their life purpose and living true to it -- where he is a coach, writer and trainer for other coaches. Hundreds of his articles have appeared in such diverse publications as Modern Maturity, Hope, New Age Journal, Yoga Journal, and many others.
He may be contacted by email: brad@lifeonpurpose.com; by phone: 1-800-668-0183; or visit the Life On Purpose Institute website: http://www.lifeonpurpose.com. For a FREE subscription to Purposeful Pondering Ezine, send an email to PurposefulPondering-subscribe@one-list.com
BONUS + self help famous quotes + motivational quotes + self help quotes + Inspiring quotes
"Maintaining a complicated life is a great way to avoid changing it." -- Elaine St. James
"People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing. That's why we recommend it daily." -- Zig Ziglar
"If you don't design your own life plan, chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan.
And guess what they may have planned for you? Not much." -Jim Rohn
"Don't wait until you feel like taking a positive action. Take the action and then you will feel like doing it." --Zig Ziglar
"Mountaintops inspire leaders but valleys mature them." -- J. Philip Everson
"It is not the great temptations that ruin us; it is the little ones." -- John W. De Forest
"Courage and perseverance have a magical talisman, before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish into air." -- John Quincy Adams
"I was the seventh of nine children. When you come from that far down you have to struggle to survive." -- Robert Kennedy
"In the face of unjust criticism we can become bitter or better; upset or understanding; hostile or humble; furious or forgiving." -- William Arthur Ward
"It is not the great temptations that ruin us; it is the little ones." -- John W. De Forest
"The sound of failure is such a familiar sound... it can be found in the center of excuses." -- Doug Firebaugh
"The most glorious moments in your life are not the so-called days of success, but rather those days when out of dejection and despair you feel rise in you a challenge to life, and the promise of future accomplishments." -- Gustave Flaubert
"Patience is a bitter plant that produces sweet fruit." -- Charles Swindoll
"Wisely and slow; they stumble that run fast." -- William Shakespeare
"Unreasonable haste is the direct road to error." -- Jean Baptiste Moliere
"Haste trips its own heels, and fetters and stops itself." -- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
"The most important thing I learned from big companies is that creativity gets stifled when everyone's got to follow the rules." -- David Kelley
"Creativity is so delicate a flower that praise tends to make it bloom, while discouragement often nips it in the bud. Any of us will put more and better ideas if our efforts are appreciated." -- Alexander Osburn
"Creativity is inventing, experimenting, growing, taking risks, breaking rules, making mistakes, and having fun." -- Mary Lou Cook
"Creativity can solve almost any problem. The creative act, the defeat of habit by originality, overcomes everything." -- George Lois
"It takes a lot of things to prove you are smart, but only one thing to prove you are ignorant." -- Don Herold
"Do friendly businesses make it? Microsoft is friendly. Ask them." -- Jeffrey Gitomer
"Dress for success. Image is very important. People judge you by the way you look on the outside." -- Brian Tracy
"What is powerful is when what you say is just the tip of the iceberg of what you know." -- Jim Rohn
"Declarations are powerful. If you declare that you are going to be an optimistic, upbeat person at all times, an interesting phenomenon takes place. When people expect you to be positive, you don't want to let them down. You live your intentions every day - every minute." -- Neil Eskelin
"The future looks bright...for those who choose to shine...and become a star." -- Doug Firebaugh
"People begin to become successful the minute they decide to be." -- Harvey Mackay
"Resolve to pay any price or make any sacrifice to get into the top 10 percent in your field. The payoff is incredible!" -- Brian Tracy
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